Of Cooking and Soccer
by Blazing Pink
Summary: In modern Japan, Sanji is a famous soccer player with great talent. When someone tries to assassinate him, Sanji's agent hires him a bodyguard. However, Sanji doesn't get along with this certain green haired bodyguard. No yaoi. Based on a dream I had.


Author's Note: I had this weird dream where the One Piece characters were living in modern Japan. Sanji was a famous soccer player (I blame this on the One Piece movie short that I saw a long time ago) and Chopper was his pet reindeer. I actually thought that the dream was interesting and decided to write it as a fanfic.

Chapter One

The Beginning of Sanji's Troubles

The cell phone's loud ringing pierced Sanji's ears. He turned over in his bed to grab the annoying thing from the nearby table. Without even bothering to check the caller ID, Sanji flipped open the phone and placed it over his ear.

"Hello?" yawned Sanji.

"Sanji, where are you!?" A young woman's frantic voice shouted in Sanji's ear. "You're supposed to be here at 9 o'clock and it's already 8:30!"

"Nixie-darling, calm down," said Sanji as he sat up, "I'm not gonna be late. In fact, I'm already full dressed. I'll be down in a minute."

"…Oh," said the woman, sounding relieved, "that's good then! Sorry for shouting like that. It's just we have a busy schedule! We have practice today, then there's that commercial tomorrow, then the game on Sunday-"

"Nixie," interrupted Sanji, "you worry too much. It's not good for your health. I'll see you in thirty minutes. Love you." Sanji placed his cell back onto the table. Beside his bed was a bed made for big dogs. On that bed lay Chopper, Sanji's pet reindeer. The reindeer looked up at Sanji and made a grunting noise. "I know I shouldn't have lied to her," said Sanji as he got out of bed, "but Nixie was frantic. If she knew I had just woken up, she would go berserk. So stop giving me that look." Sanji walked into the bathroom and quickly brushed his teeth. He then put on his best cologne and picked out his best suit. After getting dressed, Sanji picked up his gym bag and walked into the kitchen. Seeing that he had no time to eat breakfast, Sanji opened one of the cupboards and got out an energy bar. He also got out a candy bar and threw it over his shoulder for Chopper to catch. Sanji walked over to the coat hanger and grabbed Chopper's pink hat. He then placed it on the reindeer's head. "Looks like we're all set. Let's go, Chopper."

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Sanji took a bite out his energy bar as he drove in his sports car. Chopper was sitting in the front seat, eating the candy bar that Sanji had thrown at him. As he drove on the intersection, Sanji passed by a familiar restaurant. It was the exact same one that he used to work in before he became a soccer player. He remembered the smells from the kitchen and the chattering of the customers. He of course remembered Zeff, the head chef of the restaurant who had raised Sanji as his own. Behind the restaurant was a field as big as a football field that kids would sometimes play on. Once, a group of boys had set up a soccer goal at the end of the field and started kicking a soccer ball around. Sanji went outside to put out the trash when one of the boys kicked the ball in his direction and nearly hit Sanji's head. The boys became terrified and wanted to run away until Sanji said, "Hold on, there! Let me show you how to kick a soccer ball the _right_ way!" The boys soon became interested and stood to watch Sanji as he placed the ball near his feet. Lifting his leg high and twisting his foot in just about the right angle, Sanji kicked the ball all the way into the goal. The boys were surprised and impressed that Sanji could kick a ball right into a net from far away. The boys cheered and begged Sanji to do another kick. However, they weren't the only ones who had witnessed Sanji's talent. A Jaguar was driving past the field when Sanji did his kick. The car stopped abruptly and the door swung open. Stepping out of the car was no other then Franagent Nixie, Sanji's now soccer agent. Nixie ran up to the spot where Sanji and the boys were standing, shouting "Excuse me! Sir!" When Sanji laid his eyes on her, his heart skipped a beat. Of course, this always happens whenever he sees a pretty woman.

"My, what a pretty lady!" said Sanji when Nixie had stopped to catch her breath. "Is there anything I can do for you? Perhaps you are hungry?"

"No…thanks…" said Nixie between breaths, "that's…not…why…I'm…here…" Nixie then told Sanji how she worked for the Lion soccer team and that a member of the team had to retire early due to a fractured hip. After seeing Sanji kicking the soccer ball from many feet away, Nixie knew that she had found the person that she was looking for. She proposed to Sanji to be his agent and to join the Lion team. The boys looked up at Sanji eagerly.

"That's a great idea! Please join the team!" said one of the boys.

"Yeah, mister!" said another. "I'll watch your every game!" Sanji could only stand there as he thought about this. If he joined the team, then that meant he would have to quit his current job.

"Give me time to think about it," said Sanji as he walked back into the kitchen. He decided to talk to Zeff about this situation.

"Well, Sanji," said Zeff after Sanji told him about his opportunity to join a soccer team, "it's really up to you. You're not a little kid anymore. You make your own choices now. If it were up to me, I wouldn't let you join any frickin' team, but this is your own life. I just hope you'll make the right choice." Sanji pondered about this more before going outside.

"What'll happen if I _do_ join the team?" Sanji asked Nixie. Nixie's eyes lit up.

"Oh, it'll be a wonderful thing if you did!" said Nixie excitedly. "You'll travel the world, win trophies, get rich, meet women-"

"Women?" This certainly got Sanji interested.

"Yes!" said Nixie, excited to see that that was the subject that Sanji was most interested in. "You'll meet tons of gorgeous women! If that's what you want, then you'll get it!" By now, Sanji was completely in Lala Land. Women. Gorgeous women. All for him! Then it hit him. Sanji snapped back to reality.

"If I join this soccer team," said Sanji, "that means I'll have to quit my job as a cook."

"Oh, don't worry!" said Nixie. "Since I'm going to be your agent, I'll make sure you have time to visit your friends at this restaurant." The boys looked up eagerly at Sanji. Sanji thought about it some more and shrugged. It sounded like a good idea. What's the harm?

Chopper's shrieking caused Sanji to snap back into the present. A car on the opposite side of the road nearly crashed into him as Sanji quickly turned steering wheel to the right. The car's window rolled down and the driver shouted, "Watch where you're driving, asshole!"

"_You _watch where you're driving, you son of a bitch!" shouted Sanji as he rolled down his own window. Beside him, Chopper was gasping hard as if he was having a heart attack. "Sorry 'bout that, kid." That's what Sanji liked calling Chopper. Kid. Because he _did_ act like a kid. Chopper liked candy and was scared easily. Especially when watching horror movies such as _Friday the 13__th_ and _Nightmare on Elm Street._ Chopper's breathing began to slow down when Sanji drove into the parking lot of the soccer stadium.

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"Sanji! You're late!" Sanji and Chopper just entered the stadium when Nixie appeared out of nowhere and ran towards them. She was wearing her usual brown suit and black heels, her long black hair flowing behind her, her left hand clutching a clipboard, and her right hand holding a cup of Starbucks coffee.

"Nixie-darling, relax," said Sanji when Nixie ran up to him. "I'm only five minutes late. No big deal."

"It _is_ a big deal!" shouted Nixie frantically. "You have to get dressed now! The others already started practicing!" After putting on his uniform, Sanji exited the locker room and headed down to the field.

"Well, if it isn't Mr. Show Off!" said one of the team members, a young brown haired man. "Late again, are we? Did Nixie chew you out for it?"

"Can it, Zero," said Sanji annoyingly.

"Don't mind him, Sanji," said another team member, a young man with black hair, "he's just jealous. After all, his name is 'Zero.' That should tell you something."

"Right as always, Hashiru," said Sanji.

"HEY!" shouted Zero, but no one paid any attention to him. After a few passes and kicking the ball into the net, everyone sat down on the benches and chugged down the water from their water bottles. Sanji took out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.

"Sanji, I told you to stop smoking!" said Nixie when she saw Sanji lighting his cigarette. "It's not good for you now that you're a sportsman!"

"Nixie, I've been smoking ever since I was young," said Sanji, "I'm not going to die anytime soon. Instead of worrying about my health, how about I take you out to dinner? My treat."

"Sanji, we've been through this many times. Although I appreciate your feelings for me, it'll never work out between us and I don't share the same feelings for you." Sanji shrugged at this.

"Suit yourself," said Sanji as he stood up. Suddenly, a loud bang was heard. Sanji felt an incredible pain in his shoulder. Nixie's scream and the shouts of his teammates was the last thing he heard before he fell down and lost consciousness.

Author's Note: In case any of you are confused, Chopper is a regular reindeer in this story (which explains why he doesn't talk and only grunts). Please review. I would really appreciate it.


End file.
